Marriage Talk / The Little Victories

Friday, November 11, 2016



So as you’ll probably guess, I’m not the blogger- my wife is. 

Nor am I well versed in how to create amazing content, but I like to write honestly and from the heart, so I guess that’s what you’ll get! 
Hollyanne and I like to be as honest and as real as possible with others about our marriage, because we believe that honesty opens the door to true authenticity, and being authentics a good thing, especially in today’s world where we are told to be anything but ‘real’. 
Hopefully in what we write, you’ll find an encouragement that you can take away, be it for your own marriage, or any other relationships in your life. And remember, Holly and I are not experts, we just feel led to be honest with where we are at, and pray that someone out there may share or identify with part of our story. 
I don’t want to keep you here all day, but I just wanted to add a helpful thought to what Holly has already talked about. 

‘The Little Victories’

As Holly said, life is not easy at all for any of us, and sometimes it seems like you get through one difficult thing before the next comes around and floors you 

(I’m literally waking up to Donald Trump as the president-elect currently, so I’m not sure how much of this I’m bringing in to my writing!) 

For us recently, if we’re being honest, our lives have felt a little bit like that, where one difficult thing happens after the next. I think we would both admit that our first year of marriage has been a challenging one, filled with disappointments, set-backs, arguments, and at times feeling like we don’t understand each other even one bit. 

Generally speaking, just looking back at those things- it can very much feel like this sugar-coated idea you had for the first year of your marriage falls apart - And I would argue probably rightly so. 

This year has taught me so many valuable things amidst the storms of life. 

The other day, I talked this over with Holly, and we both concluded that even though there have been many obstacles throughout this year, that if we look between the cracks, look past all the harsh words spoken, the difficulties, and the dreams and hopes that ‘aren’t quite there yet’, we see that what has brought us through are the small, but significant things- what I have called the ‘little victories’.
You see, our circumstances may have ‘forced’ us to live day by day, to not know what the next year, month, week, or minute may even look like. 

However the amazing thing is that in that place of the somewhat ‘unknown’, we have become less dependent on those seemingly external things, and more focussed on approaching every day together, as it comes. 

When we choose to put aside what we cannot possibly control, and focus on fighting through life together, and keeping our connection strong, we begin to notice and value the ‘little victories’ along the way. 
Every small blessing is celebrated in the midst of what on the face of it may seem like a bit of a storm. Celebrating and looking for these ‘little victories’ or small blessings help us along the way of that never ending challenge of being 'content with the present' through EVERY circumstance. 
If I focus on these little victories, my perspective shifts from thinking back on the last year as ‘hard’, ‘difficult’, or ‘not what I expected’ to thinking- 'I wouldn’t want to go through life with any other person than Hollyanne.' 

I know that I value my marriage to Holly more than I ever would if things had just been ‘easy’ this year.


For Holly and I, we are encouraged that we don’t have to fear what tomorrow brings, that if we live our lives governed by fear we will merely be stagnant in the anxiety of the ‘what-if’. 
I’m encouraged by my faith that God’s word is a ‘lamp to my feet, the light to my path’. If I am guided down a long path by just a small lamp, I will only see the next step of what is in front of me, not the whole road ahead. 
Hollyanne and I travel down our path of life step by step, by faith only planting our feet on what we see next, *trying* not fearing too much of what lies ahead. This is what gets us through every day. Together. 

And the take away?- 

Don’t let fear cripple your future, or your present. Whatever your situation, whether married, single, engaged, or in a relationship, whatever difficulties you may face- search for the little victories in your life, and don’t let fear govern those everyday steps. 

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